St. Patrick’s Day Bingo
It might be March, but the prospect of going outside is about as appealing as a snog with Cheddar Man. This month’s snowmaggeddon was like being in hell while Satan was having a refurb: “I’m done with fire now, lads – let’s see what suffering I can cause with artic temperatures and ice!” So as much I want to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day – especially as it’s on a Saturday this year – I’ll be doing it in the warmth of my own home. I’m stocked up with more booze than a Dublin brewery and I’m inviting the girls round to get raucous.
I’ve planned my own St. Patrick’s Day Bingo Party, with miniature Irish flags as markers, and a cocktail menu that predominantly comprises combos of Baileys and Jameson’s. In tribute to Father Jack, we shall be bellowing: “Drink! Girls! Bingo!” instead of plain old “Bingo” and I have brainstormed a bespoke list of Irish bingo calls. Then there’s the dress code for looking on fleek… If I haven’t invited you here’s the blueprint for my St. Patrick’s Day Bingo Party!
I want everyone looking (sham)rock star ready when the scorecards come out, so arrive at least an hour before eyes-down for party prep over pre-drinks. Tonight’s photos should be Insta (pot of) gold, so nominate someone arty* to help everyone else with the fiddly bits.
*If none of your friends are arty, at least invite someone with a steady hand, who won’t have seen St. Patrick’s Day as an excuse to start drinking before breakfast.
1. Wear one item of green, with another item or accessory in either white or orange. If anyone wears all three colours, they get to automatically mark off a bonus number of their choice on their first three scorecards.
OPTION: If you don’t want to be seen in green, you can opt to wear green underwear. But be warned: you’ll need to flash it if anyone asks you to prove it!
FORFEIT: If you’re not wearing at least two of the tricolours, and you can’t (or won’t) prove you’re wearing green underwear, you’ll automatically lose a number on your first three scorecards (ie when one of your numbers is called, you won’t be able to mark it off).
2. Paint your nails in vertical stripes of green, white, and orange, to represent the Irish flag.
FORFEIT: Anyone without their fingernails painted in the Irish colours loses a number on their first three scorecards.
3. Paint the Irish flag - or a shamrock, a harp, or a Celtic cross – on your face using face paints. If you do, you can automatically mark off a number of your choice on your first three scorecards.
OPTION: Paint your St. Patrick’s Day emblem on your arm, shoulder, back or wherever you like instead – but you must be willing to flash it if asked!
FORFEIT: Anyone without a St. Patrick’s Day logo sacrifices a number on their first three scorecards.
- Irish Frog: This is one part Baileys to one part Midori. Pour the Midori into the shot glass first, then pour a layer of Baileys on top. To keep the spirits separate, so you’ve got two stripes, pour the Baileys in slowly, over the back of a teaspoon (or a bar spoon if you’ve got one) moving the spoon upwards as the glass fills.
- Fruity Irishman: For anyone who likes their Baileys more than Midori, make a Fruity Irishman which is two parts Baileys to one part Midori (made in the same way as an Irish Frog).
- Shamrocked: To make ten in one go, fill a cocktail shaker with ice, then pour in 20 ounces of Midori, five ounces of whiskey and five ounces of Baileys. Shake well, then strain into shot glasses.
- Baby Guiness: There’s no Guinness in it! Pour Tia Maria (or coffee Patron) two thirds of the way up a shot glass, then pour a layer of Baileys on top, using the back of a spoon – it will look like a mini pint of Guinness!
Whether you like The Script, Samantha Mumba or one of the interchangeable boy bands Louis Walsh has put together, there’s no shortage of music from Irish pop stars. Here are some of the songs that have made it onto my St. Patrick’s Day Bingo Party playlist:
- B*Witched: C’est La Vie
- The Cranberries: Zombie
- Ed Sheeran: Galway Girl
- Boyzone: Love me for a reason
- Sinead O’Connor: Nothing compares 2 U
- The Commitments: Mustang Sally
- The Pogues: Irish Rover
- U2: Sweetest Thing
- Westlife: Flying Without Wings
- The Corrs: What Can I do
How to play Irish Bingo?
The host will take the first turn at being the Bingo Caller. They’ll be calling out the numbers, so they can’t play that round, but they can wear a fetching leprechaun hat Everyone else should have a scorecard and markers.
Irish bingo calls
- Colin Farrell’s got a nice bum: ONE!
- Sinead O’Connor, Nothing Compares to You: TWO!
- Mrs. Doyle says, “will you have a cup of tea?” THREE!
- How many of them are in The Corrs? FOUR!
- It’s Ryanair, will we make it alive? FIVE!
- Shane MacGowan’s performing pissed: SIX!
- Michael Flatley is Riverdancing like heaven: SEVEN!
- Conor McGregor is punching great: EIGHT!
- Pierce Brosnan’s Bond is so handsome, he’s mine: NINE!
- I’m on the Jameson’s whiskey again: TEN!
- Liam Neeson would track you from LA to Devon: ELEVEN!
- AP McCoy’s got trophies lined up on his shelves: TWELVE!
- Bono avoiding his taxes is mean: THIRTEEN!
- Enya sailed away like a queen: FOURTEEN!
- I’ve drunk my weight in Baileys Irish Cream: FIFTEEN!
- Pot of gold or magic beans? SIXTEEN!
- Daniel Day-Lewis fans are keen: SEVENTEEN!
- Graham Norton’s chat show has got to be seen: EIGHTEEN!
- All the best things in life are green: NINETEEN!
- Gift of the gab, the Irish have plenty: TWENTY!
- The Commitments had a good theatre run: TWENTY-ONE!
- The luck of the Irish is nothing new: TWENTY-TWO!
- Rory McIlroy’s ball’s hit a tree: TWENTY-THREE!
- Tayto crisps make you want more: TWENTY-FOUR!
- I wish Terry Wogan was still alive: TWENTY-FIVE!